Every sales trainer has used it. Every sales movie has celebrated it. “Sell me this pen.”
It’s also one of the most damaging exercises in professional selling.
Not because it’s hard. Because it’s pointing you in exactly the wrong direction.
The Mistake Sounds Like Confidence
Here’s what the exercise teaches: manufacture urgency, create desire, close fast.
Salespeople come out of it thinking the job is to be compelling enough, sharp enough, slick enough to move someone.
That framing puts you — your skill, your pitch, your energy — at the center of the sale.
The buyer is just the audience.
What That Looks Like in the Real World
You’ve felt it as a buyer. The salesperson who leans in a little too hard. The follow-up that creates artificial scarcity. The close that comes before you’re ready.
Something in you stiffens. You pull back. You say you need to think about it.
You weren’t being difficult. You were being human.
What the Research Actually Says
In 1966, psychologist Jack Brehm identified what he called psychological reactance. The finding was straightforward and has held up for decades: when people feel their freedom to choose is being threatened, their brain automatically resists.
Not consciously. Automatically.
The harder someone pushes, the stronger the pushback. Brehm’s research wasn’t about sales — but it explains more about lost deals than most sales training ever will.
“Sell me this pen” is great for the movies. Terrible for sales.
Before and After: The Shift That Changes Everything
Before understanding reactance, a salesperson walks into a meeting focused on their pitch. They’re rehearsing their value props. They’re ready to handle objections. They’re performing.
The buyer feels it. The resistance starts almost immediately.
After understanding reactance, the same salesperson walks in focused on one thing: the buyer’s situation. They’re asking. They’re listening. They’re following the buyer’s language, not leading with their own.
The buyer doesn’t feel pushed. The resistance never starts.
Same product. Completely different outcome.
The Test You Can Run Right Now
After your next sales conversation, count two things: how many times you made a statement about your product, and how many times you asked a question about the buyer.
If your statements outnumber your questions, you were performing.
Performance triggers reactance. Questions disarm it.
The goal isn’t to eliminate statements — it’s to make sure your questions come first and your statements follow the buyer’s lead.
Put the Pen Down
The “sell me this pen” exercise isn’t just outdated, it’s actively training the habits that lose deals.
Selling is not a performance. It’s a conversation about the buyer — their situation, their problem, their decision.
The moment you make it about you, the buyer’s brain starts working against you.
Put the pen down. Start with the buyer.
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